In today’s blog post, I want to talk about something I still think about years later.
Some time ago, I had to make a choice. I’m not going to give the full details because I still don’t want to be that specific, even now. But years ago, I had to make a choice, and I think I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.
I think this is a story my kids will know one day. As they grow older, I’ll probably tell them the full details. I don’t know if the world will ever know everything, but I do know this: I had to make a choice.
Actually, it wasn’t only me. The whole world had to make a choice.
If you already remember what I’m talking about, or if you’re starting to piece it together, good. But I’m still not giving you the full details. I think you’ll probably understand what I mean pretty quickly anyway.
The rest of the world made the choice that seemed most obvious to them. But for me, it felt like I had to choose between who I was supposed to be and who I really am. That’s the best way I can describe it.
A lot of people would have hated me for the choice I made, but I wanted to stay true to who I really am. I wasn’t going to lie. I wasn’t going to pretend. And watching the whole world choose something because they were afraid of being judged did something to me.
Something snapped in me that day.
I could have chosen the same thing as everyone else. I absolutely could have. But I was triggered, and that reaction pushed me to start learning more. Eventually, I started learning things about myself. Then more time passed, and I learned even more.
I apologize if my language feels repetitive, but I still can’t give the full details. Not today. Maybe in four years. Maybe in ten. I don’t know. We’ll see. But one day, I think the world will know exactly what I meant.
Unless you’ve already started piecing it together.
In life, we will always have to make choices, and the rest of the world will most likely choose differently than we do. At first, it’s going to hurt. At first, you’re going to feel extremely alienated. And if you’re like me, you’re going to desperately try to justify your choice.
That attempt to justify myself sent me on a journey of discovery. I wasn’t expecting to discover myself, but I think I did. Or maybe I already knew these things about myself, and I simply had to face them.
I think I know them now, even if I still struggle sometimes.
When this happened, it came right after something that was supposed to be happy. Then, the very next day, everything changed.
But maybe it was meant to happen.
I know that might sound like a very new age belief, but I do feel like when something happens, it was meant to happen, for good or for bad.
It’s been some time since I made that choice, and I guess this is a little bit of an epilogue. Things change. Perspectives change. My perspective on certain things has definitely changed, and I know it will continue to change.
But overall, I think the choice I made truly woke me up to some things.
So I guess I was blind, but now I see, just like in that one song.
Or maybe I’m still learning how to see.
Maybe I need better glasses.
But we’ll see.